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Orhan Gencebay -- Singer, in the Arabesque style
Famous Turk...
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Traditional Turkish Humor 2
More jokes, funnies, giggles, and grins...

In Turkey - Türkiye'de

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Turkish movies, Türk filmleri
Related Pages:
  • Politically Incorrect Turkish Humor 1
  • Politically Incorrect Turkish Humor 2
  • Political Cartoons of Turkey
  • Turkish Humor of Şükrü Kızılot
  • Turkish Courtroom Comedy
  • Traditional Turkish Humor 1
  • Turkish Cartoon Comedy Translations #1
  • Turkish Cartoon Comedy Translations #2
  • Temel's Revenge, if only...

    Karısı Temeli komşusu ile aldatıyormuş. Temel de şüpheleniyormuş. Bir gün karısına << İstanbul'a gidiyorum >> demiş ve evin çatısına çıkıp saklanmış. Daha sonra komşusu gelmiş karısıyla sevişmeye başlamışlar. Temel yukardan seyrederken bir taraftanda << Ulan, eğer İstanbul'da olmasaydim, ben size gösterirdim! >> demiş.
    Thanks PM (4/99)...

    Temel's wife is cheating on him with the man next door. And Temel is suspicious. One day, he tells his wife that he's going to Istanbul but, instead, he sneaks up to the roof of his house and hides himself. After a short while, the neighbor arrives and he and Temel's wife start making wild whoopee. And when Temel sees the deceivers with his own eyes he vows vengefully, "Ooooo, you...you...If only I wasn't in Istanbul, I'd show you a thing or two!"

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    Temel in an avalanche of ifs...
    A Turkish celebrity joke

    From the long-running comedic short-feature called:
    Ünlülerden --
    Duyulmamış Fikralar
    [Previously-unheard anecdotes -- from celebrities]

    This joke is from Neco,
    Turkish Pop singer and comedic actor...

    Please follow the translation along carefully,
    else you may be tripped-up
    by the numerous if-conditional phrases --
    which you can
    identify by the -se/sa- suffixes.
    We counted 10 if-conditionals
    (5 each in Fadime's and Temel's statements)
    in the space of less than 50 words!

    Temel in an avalanche of ifs...
    - English translation -
    Temel and Fadime are newly married, and Fadime says:
    "Look Temel, if I gather up my hair completely,
    [it means] I don't desire [whoopee] that night.
    If I gather my hair up half-way,
    [it means] if 'it' happens that's OK and
    if 'it' doesn't happen that's
    [also] OK.
    But if my hair is completely scattered down,
    [it means] I definitely desire [whoopee]."
    Hearing this, Temel explains something about himself:
    "If I drink one glass of Rakı, I don't desire [whoopee],
    if I drink two glasses, it's OK if 'it' happens,
    and if 'it' doesn't
    [that's OK too].
    [But] if I drink three glasses,
    I don't really care which way you wear your hair."

    [I don't look at the hair on your head.]
    In Turkey - Türkiye'de

    Tüm bilgisayar kitabı fırsatları için tıklayın !

    Turkish Turkish Food, Turkish Drink

    Thanks to
    Gözcü Gazetesi
    14 January 2002

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    Temel's accent mix-up...
    A Turkish celebrity anecdote

    From the long-running comedic short-feature called:
    Ünlülerden --
    Duyulmamış Fikralar
    [Previously-unheard anecdotes -- from celebrities]

    This anecdote is from Davut Güloğku,
    Turkish humorist...

    As you read the joke in Turkish above, keep in mind that
    the Turkish word, dönmeyiz, may have two distinct meanings.
    When it's pronounced DERN-meh-yihz [with a slight first-syllable accent],
    it can mean "we won't go back".
    When it's pronounced dern-meh-yihz [with no noticeable accent],
    it can mean "we're men, who've had a sex change".

    Temel's accent mix-up..
    - figurative English translation -
    Temel and his friend Cemal picked up a couple of 'women' and took them home for some hanky panky. Just before they all jumped into bed, the 'women' made a disclosure:
    "We're actually men who've had a sex-change."
    But dim-witted Temel, confused about the accent, thought the 'women' had said: "We won't go back."
    So Temel replied:
    "Hah, that's no problem... This is our place.
    You can stay as long as you like..."

    Thanks to
    Gözcü Gazetesi
    26 October 2001

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    An Italian anecdote*, in Turkish...

    Many years ago, at an Italian border crossing into France,
    a border guard stopped an auto that had no license plates.
    "Where are you coming from?" asked the guard.
    A voice from inside the auto answered calmly, "From Tulin."
    "What's your license plate number?" asked the guard.
    "My car doesn't have a license plate, so...
    I wonder what can be its number?
    " came the reply.
    "Aha, so that's the way it is! What's your name?"
    "Victor!"
    "Surname?"
    "Emmanuel!"
    "What's your occupation?"
    "They say that I am King!"

    * An apocryphal story about the last-serving monarch of Italy,
    Victor Emmanuel III (b. 1869 -- d. 1947).

    Thanks to
    Gözcü Gazetesi
    Pazar Eğlencesi
    by Erdoğan Tokmakçıoğlu
    28 October 2001

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    An Australian Joke, in Turkish...

    An American from Texas traveled to Australia. There, during a visit to a farm, he asked the farm owner:
    "Say there fella', what are those animals over yonder?"
    The Australian (seeing that the American was pointing at some cows) said:
    "Cows..."
    Then the Texan pointed at some sheep grazing a little beyond, and asked:
    "OK, and what about those animals?"
    "They're sheep," [came the answer from the Australian.]
    A pained expression came to the American's face, and he shook his head from side to side, saying:
    "My my," he said, "What a pity! Because our Texas cows are at least 3 times bigger than these, and our sheep are 4 times bigger!"
    Just then while the Texan was speaking, a kangaroo hopped by a little further on -- and again the Texan asked:
    "OK then , m'friend, what's the name of that animal?"
    "Oh, that?" replied the Australian, "Why that's a grasshopper..."

    Thanks to
    Gözcü Gazetesi
    Pazar Eğlencesi
    by Erdoğan Tokmakçıoğlu
    30 September 2001

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    A British Joke, in Turkish...

    It was during the aerial bombing of Britain during WW II, in the days when the capital city London, especially, was being laid to waste.

    In those days, a woman who had to live in London sent a letter to her mother in Scotland that went like this:

    "Dear Mummy, German planes continue bombing London nearly every day, and a lot of people are either being killed or wounded during the bombing. Believe me, I'm very worried about my two children...So, I'm [now] sending the children to you until the bombing stops."

    Not even a week had passed when the woman received this telegram from her mother in Scotland:

    "Send the war planes to us STOP...
    I'm sending the children [back] to you STOP!..
    "

    Thanks to
    Gözcü Gazetesi
    Pazar Eğlencesi
    by Erdoğan Tokmakçıoğlu
    7 October 2001

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    An Irish Joke, in Turkish...

    An Irish grocer (as he was departing his grocery shop)
    emphatically exhorted his young apprentice:
    "My son, if my wife shows up, tell her to wait a little...
    I'll be back in 5 or 10 minutes.
    "
    The apprentice [replied and] asked:
    "All right, sir, and if your wife doesn't show up,
    what shall I tell her then?
    "

    Thanks to
    Gözcü Gazetesi
    Pazar Eğlencesi
    by Erdoğan Tokmakçıoğlu
    14 October 2001

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    A Mexican Joke, in Turkish...

    Little Emiliano asked his mother:
    "Mama, I wonder...is my baby possible?"
    Naturally the astonished mother replied:
    "Such a thing is impossible ," she said,
    "and don't ever ask me such nonsensical questions again."
    Emiliano, who had heard well the things his mother had told him,
    went running to his little friend Julie -- and when he reached her side he said:
    "Didn't I tell you so, Julie...There's nothing to worry about."

    Thanks to
    Gözcü Gazetesi
    Pazar Eğlencesi
    by Erdoğan Tokmakçıoğlu
    25 November 2001

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    Another Turkish celebrity anecdote...


    This anecdote is from Sezen Aksu,
    Turkeys' most famous pop-music singer-songwriter...

    Man asked: God, why did you make women so beautiful?
    God replied: So that you might fall in love.
    Man asked: OK. But why are they so stupid sometimes?
    God replied: So that they might be able to fall in love with you...

    Thanks to
    Gözcü Gazetesi
    16 October 2001
    In Turkey - Türkiye'de

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    Turkish movies, Türk filmleri
    Related Pages:
  • Politically Incorrect Turkish Humor 1
  • Politically Incorrect Turkish Humor 2
  • Political Cartoons of Turkey
  • Turkish Humor of Şükrü Kızılot
  • Turkish Courtroom Comedy
  • Traditional Turkish Humor 1
  • Turkish Cartoon Comedy Translations #1
  • Turkish Cartoon Comedy Translations #2
  • Essential Turkish Vocabulary
  • Turkish Pronunciation
  • Turkish Verbs
  • Essential Idioms, Index
  • Sentence Structure, Standard
  • Turkish Accenting
  • Turkish Numbers Revealed
  • Other Turkish Language Difficulties
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