I was recently staying with my Turkish friend's family in Istanbul. I am learning the language and the culture, and I thought an extended holiday would be great for building my vocabulary and helping with my pronunciation.
My friend's mum has a blood pressure problem and is slightly overweight. Anyway, I always take a box of 'Epsom salts' (kind of laxative) with me on holiday -- just in case I eat anything dodgy. 'Epsom salts' is actually also very good for blood pressure -- because it, erm....şey....assists in emptying the body's waste disposal unit.
One particular day, I was talking with my friend's sister in the kitchen -- and she was helping with a word translation araştırmak; to search. But when I told her the meaning of araştırmak in English, she began to laugh uncontrollably... It seems that when I said the English word search, she heard the Turkish word sıç. And, after climbing out of her bowl of soup she explained that sıç (in Off-color Turkish) means to pass a movement (or to defecate, if we are putting a fine point on it). For a moment, I was slightly embarrassed -- but we were both young people and the uncomfortable seconds soon passed.
Later that week over dinner I was trying to explain to my friend's mum, her best friend, her husband, a couple of family friends -- that 'Epsom salts' is good for controlling blood pressure ...(Please bear in mind that my Turkish is very elementary, and that the previous kitchen dialogue was long forgotten.) And when my explanation started going badly... I threw caution to the wind and blurted out sıç -- to explain the 'process'.
As soon as the word left my mouth, a silence fell over the dining table -- that was quickly followed by the most rapturous laughter imaginable. And that was even more quickly followed by my own red face!
The moral: Don't try to use a new language if your memory is failing you.
AH (August '02)
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