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Advice to the Lovelorn
Romance, Love, and Sex Matters in Turkey
What
Merry Turkish Widows Want
1/2

In Turkey - Türkiye'de

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Turkish movies, Türk filmleri
Güzin Abla gave big-sisterly advice to lovelorn and
downtrodden Turkish men and women for 40 years.
The 'Dear Abby' of Turkey -- Güzin Abla gave advice to lovelorn and downtrodden Turkish men and women for 40 years.
Click for enlargement!

Thanks to
Turkish Daily News
26 July 2006

A Lovelorn Turkish Man Asks --
What Does A Merry Turkish Widow Want?

Güzin Abla's Advice to the Lovelorn (and Downtrodden) column has been a Turkish newspaper mainstay since its original author Fatma Güzin Sayar gave her name to it in the 1970s. It came into being as a sort of therapy for the society-girl journalist -- who'd been an unfortunate downtrodden victim herself... of two separate adulterous husbands.

She got burned the first time (as a child-bride, who'd married over her parents' objections at the tender age of 16) by a Turkish Naval Officer. That marriage begat a daughter, Feyza, before it ended in painful divorce. And she didn't fare any better the second time around, when she caught husband number two 'working overtime' on a female friend.

From the beginning, Güzin Hanım's advice column expressed very strong 'conservative' opinions about a variety of personal issues, some of which had been 'taboo' in the public forum before she brought them into the mainstream...

First among these issues (as you can imagine) was Adultery -- and she continually waged an almost-feverish moral campaign against it. But she also spoke out on other 'daring' topics of the day including pre-marital sex (she was against that too), homosexuality (she considered it a disease, with a very low cure-rate), arranged-tribal marriages (another of Güzin's hot-button issues) -- and even penis size (she was friend of the less well-endowed).

When Güzin Hanım became ill in 1998, daughter Feyza Algan 'pinch hit' for her -- and in 2006 when Güzin Sayar passed away, Feyza Hanım took over the column permanently (in much the same way that daughter Jeanne Phillips had replaced her own mother, as Dear Abby).

From what we can tell, there seems very little difference between daughter Feyza's heart-felt opinions, style, and advice... and those of her mother -- an example of which appeared recently in Hürriyet Gazetesi...

What Does A Merry Turkish Widow Want?
(Question submitted by male reader, Sweet Mahir)

Dear Güzin Abla,

I'm a single 30 year old man, who many consider to be handsome. I'm living and working in Germany just now -- and, on the Internet, I made the acquaintance of a 34 year old widow with 2 children. We communicated by email at first and then by telephone.

For a whole month, we talked on the phone from dusk till dawn -- which adversely affected my work. She captivated me... took over my brain, my mind -- became as important to me as the blood that flowed in my veins.

We exchanged photographs and she said that she liked mine very much. From my standpoint, I fell in love with the woman I saw in that photo. I've known a lot of women in my life (I'm not unattractive to women, and I'm quite experienced.) But this woman was different, really intriguing. I became preoccupied with meeting her face to face.

When she finally agreed, we met at a café where we had 5-10 coffees, smoke 20-30 cigarettes -- and talked for hours. I was enchanted by her, she was just marvelous. When night began to fall, I escorted her home by Metro, though I didn't even hold her hand...neither of us were seeking physical contact...yet.

But, by the time I'd made it back to my apartment, I was on fire. I called her and implored her to let me return that very night, to see her again. A little reluctantly, she agreed that I could visit her to "drink some coffee". I was off like a shot, in time to catch the last Metro, and was back to her place in no time -- not caring about how I'd find my way back home later, if that proved necessary...

In Part 2: Sweet Mahir worries, 'Did She Only Use Me For Sex?'
and gets some bitter-sweet advice from Turkey's Dear Abby...

In Turkey - Türkiye'de

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